Come Close

Come closer, she whispers
Something in me rises to lean into her.

Come closer, to who I am becoming,
what I am learning, what I Know.

Come closer, and I lean into Generosity,
Humility, Practicality, Devotion, and
Compassion practiced with a scalpel’s precision
for what is unnecessary on the journey.

Come closer, feel the ineffable Joy
in Letting Go and Joyful Following

Come closer, to the grow-Light that I am
She whispers, and I fold into her bounty.

Memories of You

Visits in your kitchen
My first knowing of my love for you
I’m young and I want life to be different
Live my life, embrace my life, you tell me
You teach me by your example
You support me to take next steps
Back to school and we are together
Weekly classes, Satsangs, Rose Ceremonies
Tea at your orange table, sometimes joyous, sometimes challenging
I take steps, you supporting each one
I grow in all areas of my life
You are happy to see me
We hold hands, supporting each other
We are in different places now
Our love for each other has changed as we have changed
I thank you for my life
I owe my life to you
I love you

Meeting my Guru

The first time that I met Swami Radhananda was at Pakefield doing a Retreat with two other colleagues in 2009. She did not speak much, which contrasted with my Portuguese yoga teacher that made long talks in her retreats. This contrast made me feel uneasy in the beginning. However, the reflections that came to me during those two days were amazing and I never felt so much peace in my life. Later, during my visits at the Ashram, I could experience that just her presence and her Light were enough to take me to a beautiful place of peace and wisdom. Her silence and the way she listened were so rich and full of Love and Light. I and my colleagues were very blessed by having Swami Radhananda leading a weekend workshop in Braga. At the end of the workshop, all the participants shared beautiful poems that showed how deep their reflections were and how much peace and love came out from their hearts.

Watch your Mind

There was great anticipation in the room while the YDC’ers of 2007 pulled out notebooks and carbon paper and pens in preparation for our first class with Swami Radhananda. She strode in quietly, but firmly. Sat, with no introduction, pre-amble or context, and said, simply, “Watch your mind”.
Once the shuffle of paper and people subsided I met my mind. This powerful exercise is still with me to this day. I remember feeling her watching her mind. As if she had just up and moved her practice into a room where we could all witness it. It made me feel like it was possible to watch my mind also. I am forever grateful for the experience of being able to follow simple, seemingly impossible instructions. Forever grateful for learning how to meet myself with compassion and curiosity. Forever grateful for her presence.

She Did It!

She did it,
Through Love
With Love.
She lived the Practice.
Taking the esoteric Teachings
Making them accessible, livable, do-able.

A life infused with Light.
Devotion and gratitude
At its core.

I am forever
Indebted
And
Inspired
to follow
Her into Light.

Why not?
She showed the Way.
She provided the real life example.
The how-to.

A Light-infused Life.
To Her
I bow in gratitude, wonder and awe.

From Mary-Ann to Swami Radhananda

My memories are often about observing this transformation. I remember in the 70’s sitting in main house at a picnic table with Susan, Russell, and Mary-Ann just arrived in their orange van from Lethbridge. Another memory is in a workshop with Swami Radha at Many Mansions – a group of teachers. Swami Radha points out that Mary-Ann, while crying, is in a special place, a different level of consciousness (not her words but my understanding). Another workshop and I observe Mary-Ann awakening to and wondering about this new role she will be asked to step in to. She is processing it.  More recently, I remember her summer workshops. She doesn’t speak a lot, her words are potent – each one ripe with meaning. She sends us off to do our own work. We come back and take turns speaking all in one big group. She listens, she really listens. It is so profound. Swami Radhananda has brought the Ashram to this vibrant and welcoming place that it is today. She is bright light encouraging us all on to greater awareness

A memory

I wondered if Swami Radhananda picked up thoughts.

It was at an annual AGM and Swami Radhananda had been speaking of the Ashram and was asking for people to come up to the front and make a contribution as to what the Ashram meant to them. There wasn’t an immediate response and I was thinking what a powerhouse the Ashram was – but with no intention of coming forward.

All of a sudden her gaze was on me and I was propelled forward to say how I found the Ashram to be a powerful place of energy and Light, almost tangible at times.

A powerful place, where the teachings continued alive and vibrant, because of her courage in transitioning the Ashram, in welcoming youth and new ideas.

Continuing Connections

I first met Swami Radhananda about 18 months after Swami Radha’s death, when she was quite new in her role heading up the ashram and overall community. It was all new to me, and I remember trying to figure it all out – the teachings, the ashram, the community in the snow in the mountains by a lake, who people were and how they’re connected with each other and the Divine (I still am). Swami Radhananda had a very quiet voice yet her words were clear and her meaning direct. At times I thought she was very serious, then she’d say something very funny and I’d think ‘oh, she’s funny’! I couldn’t pigeonhole her, it keep me on my toes. I also remember the letters we shared being in different countries, and her compassion at a time when I was grieving. I haven’t been able to get to the ashram for a long time now, yet her legacy is there through the teachers and the worldwide community that remains, and a continuing Connection to the Divine.

My friend – memories

I met Mary-Ann when she was a loving and devoted mother of two young children, always smiling and laughing.  We went though some sad times together but it resulted in her conviction that there was another path waiting for her. Mary-Ann was a mover and shaker. She was a political activist, willing to discuss the “issues” with anyone.  She advocated for the rights of children, and was an active member of Women’s Place where I met her and Susan–Swami Jyotihananda.  We published a feminist newsletter.  Around that time, I met Swami Radha and took a Life Seal workshop at Susan’s house.  I believe it was at that time Mary-Ann knew she had found her path.  When we took our Master’s degree she applied her time at the Ashram toward her special project.  It was accepted and Mary-Ann was on her way!

She was a true friend, loving and giving.  When I admired a small antique jug she wrapped it and gave it to me for my next birthday.  A vivid memory, the epitome of my friend.  I was sad when she left for the Ashram but I knew she had found her path.  The place where she could grown in all four directions.  And in turn teach others.  Mary-Ann, where are you now?  In the sound of the rain, the touch of the wind, the warmth of the sun, the smell of Mother Earth.  In my heart is where I find you    my friend    your friend   our friend.  Blessed be.

Remembering Swami Radhananda

Swami Radhananda’s clear Commitment to her own personal growth, to living the Teachings on a daily basis, to discovering who she is within her challenges, her triumphs, her losses, her responsibilities to being the Lineage Holder, all inspire me. She more than earned her wings on January 28, 2021. As our Ancestor her example continues to shine and guide all who need her. A Bodhisattva of Compassion because of her unwavering determination to keeping her promise. “May I call you Mataji?” she asked Swami Radha.”Do you know what that means?” was the reply. Swami Radhananda’s life shows she knew more than the literal meaning of the word…with her selfless service and dedication her Light continues to shine…

Much gratitude to Swami Radhananda.

In the Light,