As the days stretch longer and the weather warms, I find myself drawn outdoors again, observing the transformations that come with each season. At the Ashram, I am drawn to the blackberry field where I spent a couple of hours cutting back last year’s fruiting canes. It was a relatively easy task as there are no thorns on these cultivated plants. Blackberries are an amazing plant that grow at a rapid pace spreading in many different directions. The next part of my task was to take stock of the new growth that has yet produced fruit. This year will be their year!
The beauty of the cultivated blackberries is they have no thorns. A much easier task to remove old stems and branches. The blackberries just outside of the Garden gate have thorns which get caught on my jacket, wool hat and garden gloves on a regular basis. I am reminded of the grasping of not wanting to let go or the neediness of some of my personality aspects. With care and patient movement the unwanted branches are removed. A quote from Swami Radhananda comes to mind: Cut away attachments to reach your full potential.
Two karma yogis are working in the fields on this misty morning – they are unearthing last year’s field that was the home for many years of raspberries. The old canes were removed in the fall and the field planted with a cover crop to help build the soil up for future use.
The blueberries and hascaps have been pruned, looking healthy and vibrant. The intelligence of the blueberry is that they flower and fruit while also giving so much to life around them – an example of selfless service. Swami Sivananda told Swami Radha that selfless service will make you Divine. Is all of nature Divine Mother’s creation?
There is a waiting period, a time for the earth to continue its migration towards late spring and summer. For the sun to warm the soil, for the birds to return, for the bees to wake up, for the spring rains to provide needed moisture.
Waiting for Change: What Is Revealed?
I am becoming aware of how words have the power to transform. A friend recently shared a phrase she recently learned: “the bud swelling season”. When I hear this my mind is transported to a realm of mystery, potential and wonder. My heart feels warm and a smile creases my lips. I think of my granddaughter waiting to hear what university will accept her into a masters program. She is in the ‘bud swelling season’ in that she has done her work and now it’s that vulnerable time of waiting to see what Divine Mother has in mind – what will be revealed?
What is it within me that knows intuitively, when it is time to act or take a small step forward? In the waiting, slow breaths, keeping connected through my practices, listening to Her are all supports.
Transformation can be slow and steady or incredibly fast which then requires time to catch up at some point. But one thing is certain: life and nature are always in motion, transforming minute by minute, day by day, season by season.
The Pond:
It is early spring, the pond has yet shown signs of new spring growth. However, on this sunny warm day, the fish come to the surface to feel the warmth of the sun. They are slowly waking up from their long winter slumber. A heron is spotted down by the lake edge. We place bamboo poles across the surface of the pond to detract the heron from finding her next meal here. After many years of caring for this pond, I am reminded how nothing stays the same, things are always changing, transforming into a new life by waking up or moving towards letting go for a period of rest.
The Witness:
Yesterday myself and a colleague sat in a classroom as we watched the participants of a 3-month Yoga Development course walk into the classroom and settle themselves into a chair that was part of a circle of chairs. This was close to the end of the course and one of the last times they will be together in this way.
All 15 of them moved with an ease and grace that reflected 3 months of early morning daily hatha practice. My mind went back to January 15th when we all sat in a circle in the Temple of Light. They were so nervous, awkward, bodies tense. Now there is such a profound change. As each person spoke there was lightness, vulnerability, humour, compassion, a noticeable expansion of awareness. This was truly remarkable, so much so that my heart swelled and a little moisture pricked my eyes.
I recognize that the effort has to be put in, then there is the period of waiting to see what She, Divine Mother, has to say about all of this and then reveals next steps. Listening is key.
Letting Go, Trusting More
Death – transformation. Like the final letting go of the body, all these small deaths of old concepts, beliefs, survival personality aspects need to die in order for the newer brighter
“Renunciation is also learning to trust that when things are let go we will be given what we need. We develop trust by suspending our judgements, releasing doubts and seeing what is really happening. The challenges are not obstacles. As you grow in strength, you will have the courage to step into the unknown. Renunciation requires a willingness to care deeply, accept yourself and use your intelligence”. – Swami Radhananda
At this time in my life span, I am not so much the doer as I am a witness to all that is happening around me. It’s a state of peace, relaxation and wonder that makes all the challenges of aging so worthwhile. In years past I would be one of those concerned and anxious about having enough help to get the garden planted in time along with many other small anxieties around this large transition time here at the Ashram. Today, I observe nature and have a deep sense of trust that all is and will be as it should be.
Nature has taught me that She annually transforms herself from the bareness and quiet of a long winter into this glorious mystery of life, light, warmth and growth that spring and summer offer. My purpose now is to listen/watch and then respond to what I witness.
Reflection Questions for Transformation
- What old growth or attachments might be ready to be cut away?
- What part(s) of me are in the “bud-swelling season? Where and how am I preparing for something new?
- Where is Trust needed in my life right now?
By Swami Padmananda