I was running down a forest lined country road in the fall of 1980 when I first met God.
There was a strong feeling of a supportive Presence, a spiritual connection to something far greater than anything I had ever known before.
This was during a time of upheaval in my life — a fractured marriage, a six-month-old baby and a career that was in question. The familiar way of life was no longer. My home and security, as I knew it, was in jeopardy. I felt lost.
An opening was created inside my broken heart.
In an effort to get my feet on the ground and move through the confusion, I began jogging. Out in nature, I gradually let go of what I thought I knew. My senses were drawn to the beauty around me — the trees, freshly ploughed fields, wide sky and unexpected encounters with wildlife, slowly nurturing my soul.
Looking back, I can see that those runs marked the beginning of a relationship, not only with the Divine but with the natural world that became one of my greatest teachers.
Learning from the Land
Years later, I found myself taking weekly yoga classes and living on a farm — my life had turned around. It was Spring and with my foot on a shovel I was digging up and turning over the rich dark earth, heading into a new chapter of life. Pausing, listening to the birds chattering, I began planting seeds for my first vegetable garden. I felt inspired.
There was a strong Presence of the Divine that accompanied my quiet repetition of mantra as I pulled out deeply rooted weeds and tossed them into a pile beside me. I recognized the metaphor: here I was cleaning up my life, making a fresh start, committing to a daily yoga practice, running a business and seeking deeper meaning in my personal life.
Searching for Divine Mother
Back then, I attended Yoga classes offered by a Yasodhara Yoga teacher, Jeannie, at her house in Lakefield, Ontario, only 20 minutes from where I lived. She often referred to Divine Mother, which was an unfamiliar term for me.
Gradually, as I tended the farm garden, consciously bringing in all my sense perceptions as I worked, I began building awareness. Smelling the rich dark earth, watching the small green shoots of the first crop of peas poking through the ground, listening to the birds, suddenly it came to me: Mother Earth, Divine Mother, they were One and the same!
The combination of weekly classes, along with consistent daily yogic practices such as the Divine Light Invocation and Hidden Language Hatha Yoga became the foundation for my spiritual life. A precious relationship with my Inner Self, the wise one within was gradually unearthed.
Growing Through Written Reflection
My “desire to know” was supported with written reflections, which proved to be a valuable tool, revealing where I was at mentally, emotionally and spiritually, which brought an understanding of what personality aspects needed to shift or belet go of. They had served in the past but were no longer helpful.
Having become what I thought was independent, growing awareness allowed me to see that it was pride that had to move aside, so that I could reach out and ask for Divine Mother’s help and support. This ‘pride demon’ had blocked my connection to Her — it was like a pest in the garden that needed to be addressed.
In her book Living the Practice, Swami Radhananda writes:
“You have to put effort into knowing yourself. The Self is a pearl of great price, a precious treasure that is not easily accessible… Real growth demands that we go beyond the comfortable as familiar patterns block the way for new perceptions.”
Through commitment to the practices, negative rehashing thoughts could be elevated by chanting mantra. The Om Tara Mantra had come to me, seemingly of its own accord, naturally falling in beside me, fitting into rhythm with my footsteps when I was walking. This mantra became a companion on the Path, it resonated and connected me to the Goddess of Compassion. Gradually long-held concerns and fears were loosened.
Working in the garden and being on a journey of self-development go hand in hand. Following the cycles of nature: tending the soil, planting seeds, nurturing and caring for the new shoots as they mature, then harvesting in rhythm with the seasons, is a commitment — as is spiritual growth.
Preserving fruits and vegetables requires discernment. Sorting the produce, removing bruises or blemishes, sending the best ones to the kitchen to be used for fresh eating while transforming the ‘seconds’ to be preserved for winter fare is all part of the daily routine. Similarly, daily reflection and spiritual practices became part of my daily routine.
Gratitude, Reciprocity and the Ashram Garden
The Ashram Garden is tended by the many helping hands of karma yogis — a variety of people offering selfless service, simply doing what needs to be done while inviting in spiritual practice. The care and attention to the irrigation and amendments added to the soil are all ways of giving back to Mother Earth with gratitude.
Often after a harvest, a cover crop is planted which will be ploughed under later to enrich the soil the following year. Meals in the dining room are generally preceded with individual prayers — gratefully acknowledging how Divine Mother’s generosity supplies much of our nourishment, on all levels, day in and day out, year-round.
The garden is a place of reciprocity, giving rich compost, collected primarily from kitchen scraps and chicken manure, back to the earth, replenishing and nourishing the soil. This earth becomes the foundation for numerous tiny seedlings, lovingly started in the little “nursery” green house, gradually relocated outside and planted with careful attention to spacing and depth.
Watching the garden transform is a metaphor for observing the process of my own personal growth, made visible through the lens of daily reflection.
Looking back, I can see that what began on a forest road continued quietly in the garden. The same Presence that met me in a moment of loss seemed to meet me again in the rhythm of daily service — in soil, in practice and in the small acts of care that make up a life.
Reflection opens the door to receive the Light, the Light of understanding, for oneself and others. When understanding deepens, a natural desire to offer back emerges prompting selfless service, contributing to “the good of all” and the generous cycle continues.
Reflection Practice
Spend a few moments outdoors, perhaps in your garden, a local park or beneath a tree. Notice what draws your attention. Then, ask yourself: What nourishes me?
Write down your reflections. Notice what arises, and consider how the natural world may be inviting you into greater awareness, gratitude or growth.
By Durga.