We started off with an old barn and began the process of stripping it down. We evaluated: what we could keep, what we could work with, and what was no longer needed. Sometimes moving forward meant removing material, and undoing what had already been done. There where a lot of unknowns: trial and error, “I don’t know"'s, and “what do you think"'s. We kept going. Frustration often occurred, as incorporating the character of the building required changing our ideas about its evolution.            

For a long time, I struggled with accepting my work at the Barn as actual Karma Yoga. Karma Yoga at the Barn includes working with paid contractors, employed by the Ashram. The contractors and the Barn were removed from other Karma Yogis, so I felt disconnected. I didn’t get to see other young adults very often, and I had a Young Adult internship, which meant I felt I was getting ‘paid’ for what I was doing (the Ashram creates donated Young Adult internships, for those who would otherwise be unable to live here).           

In late December, it got cold in the building. The new Geo-Thermal heating system was turned off to save it from dry-walling dust. I questioned my Karma Yoga perspective: why am I here? is there even a point if I’m getting ‘paid’ for my work? The self-criticism I held for my perspective became evident, as my judgments of others amplified.

Meanwhile, Thursday night "Class," a weekly Karma Yogi group reflection, witnessed my ongoing Karma Yoga process. My self-criticism reflected in my body language and in my speech. I knew something had to be done.

My Barn internship enabled me to take the Ashram’s three-month Yoga Development Course (YDC), and, on the last Thursday class before the YDC, reflection offered me my focus for the following ninety days: Self-acceptance. I realized my own self-judgment created the way I experienced my outer world.

I went into the YDC removing the parts of myself that once served a purpose, and no longer do. I evaluated what I had to work with, and how to apply the teachings in ways that would accommodate my framework. I am learning ways of seeing situations from my Higher Self. The challenges I experienced during the Barn’s transformation into a new living space, parallel the challenges of my own growth at the Ashram, and the transformation of my perspective on Karma Yoga at the Barn.

These days, Karma yogi carpentry creates new furniture to accommodate the now transformed Barn space. Both my personal foundation and the Barn’s transformation have taken place: this reflects both in the Barn, as the finer, more detailed work of carpentry manifests, and in my own self-acceptance, and, consequential gratitude.

Charlie Edmonds has lived at the Ashram for a year. Recently completing the 2006 YDC, he plans on furthering his gratitude and self-acceptance at the Ashram until October. Charlie plans on returning to Victoria, and starting his own yoga studio: based on the Hidden Language Hatha Language tradition taught at Yasodhara Ashram. Charlie continues to be a beautiful flute player and a content human being.